Dear... The Truth Is
I'm scared. I'm absolutely scared that I broke up with a man who loved me enough that I wasn't single for over 6 years.
The truth is, I was unhappy in our relationship. We were complacent and I didn't tell him all the things that would make me happy because I was focused on not losing him or being single. So I settled. I knew it from when he told me at the very beginning he didn't want another child or to be married again. I knew it deep down, but I wanted to be with him.
Maybe the need to be happy was the reason why I finally told him I wanted to have children. Maybe the need to feel attractive and loved by a man was the reason why I wanted out. Now that I'm single again, I miss him. However, I don't miss him making me feel unattractive. He stopped trying to make love to me. We fucked, but making love wasn't normal. Now, I have this sexy as fuck man wanting me. He wants to make love to my entire body. He wants to taste me and love me deep. I want that so badly. I want to be wanted to badly, but I want to be in love again.
I just don't know when this will happen. I want to be married. I want to have a family of my own. I want to have what I see other women have attained. Why not me? What have I done wrong to deserve being alone now? I wish it will change. I want it to change and I want it to be with a man who loves every single inch of my very imperfect body. I deserve someone who will kiss my tears away. He has the same character as I do - honest, funny, kind, loving, horny. I'm searching, hoping for him. I search online. I am hopeful when I am traveling.
I just hope. I still have that. I hope it's on the cards for me.