Dear... Someone Who I Hope Will Never See This
I really did like you, and I sent you a whole letter explaining why I did and I never regretted it. I told you, it was all the little things that made me like you a lot more than I anticipated. I know you might be going through a lot right now, which is why I don’t wanna talk to you about how I feel anymore, because I don’t want to add onto your plate. I just wish you knew, I wish you understood how much I miss the way things were. I miss the you that tried, the you that listened to the little things, the you that made me feel like you cared. Maybe that you is still there and just a little lost, but I tried, I really did.
I tried to give you a chance to help me understand you and find that you that I liked so much, but you couldn’t open up and maybe you’re pushing everyone away. Maybe it isn’t me but I can’t sit around and look like a fool, not knowing what to expect from you. Maybe I slowly started to lose feelings when I no longer understood you. I tried to check up on you, make sure you were okay, I tried to be there for you. I still am here for you, but sometimes I need to be checked in on too. Sometimes I wanna feel like someone cares. Just once, do I wanna feel like a priority, and it’s okay that you couldn’t do that for me, I understand. I do care about you, I really do. So I just want to see you happy, whether that includes me or not.
I’ve been the stupid one way too many times, the dumbass who cares too much for people who couldn’t care less about me. I’ve been the one left behind way too many times, and I know you have too, which is why I’m not leaving, but if you’re pushing me away then it’s you that’s leaving, not me. I don’t know what goes on in your head but I do know what goes on in mine and it scares me. The way I think, the way I feel, it’s scary. It’s all so scary, but there was a time when I didn’t mind being scared when it came to you and I don’t know what happened, but things changed, like they always do, and I get it.
Just know, I did like you, I really did.