Dear... Burning Fire
Since I've known you, nothing has felt the same. There is forever a hole that is left incomplete with your constant ghosting, triggering all other losses and pains. Each time you ghosted me that pain was triggered and each time it also healed, as I just got stronger. Each time you left, I looked within for guidance. Had I only trusted sooner my own guidance, life would be different. However, I had lost my way into a dark tunnel, propelled there by shock, unknowing until a recent healing I did released the layer of shock in Dec 2019.
There’s so much I wish I could share with you. I felt at home even in silence next to you, then chatting it over with a friend. However, I did not understand that peace I felt with you. I did not know how to trust the peace I felt with you. I did not know how to provide you the space you needed. I always felt magnetized to you and it appeared that that overwhelmed you and it was an overwhelming feeling for me as well.
The moments with you felt they had truth in them and felt real. All these other moments don't compare to the moments with you. Whether those moments be loving or in frustration, the moment was with you and all those shared moments were the real moments where my heart was alive.