Dear... Universe and YOU, Yes You.
This is not a letter to give tips, it's to vent. I will not be offended if you stop reading or you've already done that.
Trapped in my mind. Can't do things without fear pushing me. Each time I need more fear to do things. I want to stop caring what people could think of me. Any 'negative' reaction they give me is an alarm for the primitive part of my brain. The risk is there, my own response is excessive and I know it. My rational part tries to be above the emotions but it's not possible. Flight response for many pending activities.
Don't know what to do. S. Anxiety and existential crisis aren't a good combination. My frustration to be more in peace and care less, it's creating depression in me. I want it to get so worse to the point I stop feeling emotions. My mind is so strong for now that it's not possible to reach that state. The fear of people's negative reactions is so strong that I put a happy mask on myself. From the outside, peaceful, but on the inside a cage getting smaller and smaller.
Let's stop talking about that. I don't want to leave without talking to you. Are you happy? Or at least are you mentally ok? Has your life been seen perfect from the outside but crushing on the inside? Or maybe it's good on both cases?
What I want to say its that, feeling good or bad, there are more people outside having similar experiences. You're not alone. I wish you the best.