Dear... My Biggest Regret
It's been so long since you left. Three hundred and sixty-five have come and went since you decided no contact was the best policy.
I think your approach was savage, unnecessary, brutal, sadistic, and just plain cruel after seven years of professing, love, affection, and commitment. You left.
I'm not saying I was a saint or that I deserved a partner at the time because I needed a wake-up call. I believe you cheated on me with him. I think you may have emotionally cheated with other men as well.
While I have no excuse for all my shitty behavior, I can say outside of cheap pornographic thrills, I was faithful to you and struggled hard to do so near the end of the relationship because your coldness and distance only rivaled your disdain for me. I was on a mission to understand and recover. You were on a mission to annihilate.
Your nature had not gone unnoticed, but your complete and utter campaign to destroy everything was Draconian and Machiavellian. You raided my house and acted like I was nothing. Your pathetic family and friends did nothing. They didn't honor the wedding. Your holy Aunt, who is a f***ing idiot, (see her 10,000 medical excuses and love for bullshit like "Dr." Mercola) and that pompous unbearable douche of a f***kin' fake zealot Uncle can f***in' b-low me.
I hate what you did to me. Whether it's true or not, you wanted to spread the idea that I was nothing but a piggy bank and ex-boyfriend wannabe.
The fact is Honey; I gave you more than you ever deserved. You are trash. You are garbage. You will always be an insecure, needy, piece of shit, but don't worry honey, that fat ass and those blue eyes will carry you wherever you need to go.
Just know if you weren't attractive no one would like you.
Just know that you are a f***ing ugly, pathetic excuse for a human being.
Just know you aren't in love with God or even believe in it. You love the idea of picking the right side and delude yourself with "miracles" that you perceived happened, but didn't, cuz you're a dumb gullible bitch.
I am a dirty rotten scoundrel, with no good about me. I accept this and embrace it.
I wish everything would be different. I hope you wouldn't be the piece of shit you are/were and have had the common decency to have left me alone that day I answered your call at my Grandmother's pool. I wish you would go away and never bother anyone and take your f***in' cult aunt and uncle with you.
Goodbye to all things, good and bad.
Thank you,
F*** you,
Bye.