Dear... God
Someone I care deeply about may be dying. It’s been a whirlwind week of doctor’s visits and tests faced with more visits and tests... each one getting worse and more serious. No diagnosis yet but various body organs involved and now an appointment with an oncologist.
An afternoon spent explaining everything to his family and some close friends in between cries. Wondering if the rest of his body can be strong enough to fight if we hear the worst because he’s getting older. Trying to figure out how to be positive and encouraging for him when I’m so scared.
The whole house needs me right now... things to do… but I can’t get off the couch. It’s been a long day or couple of days. Who knows?
I love him, God. I know you love him. I know you see his big heart that beats for you. I know you see my heart too. It’s breaking. Please... I need more time. Or else you’ve got to show me how to do this. Because I can’t bear to do this on my own.