Dear... My First
You were the first. You haven’t been the only, and certainly not the best, but you were the first and you knew that. You knew how vulnerable and naive I was, and you took me knowing you would hurt me in the end. You should have left me alone. You should have been cruel and abandoned me at the first sight of lust. I hate you, and I hate myself for letting you consume me the way that you did.
Obviously, you still haunt me.
I hate you. Did I mention that? I want to forgive you and move on so badly and I can’t. I was cruel to you once I gathered the strength and support of having a new lover, but that wasn’t enough for me. We haven’t spoken words in ages and I still want to pick up the phone just to tell you that you are human trash. That you will always be ugly on the inside. I pray that you someday realize how you use people, and that you apologize to me. And I pray that by that point, I won’t laugh in your face.