Dear... Myself
Hi.
I know you're struggling right now. You are afraid and you just don't want to take the step. Your emotions are all over the place. Your doubts, insecurities and self-loathing have started to consume you. You know that you should face them but you can't seem to take the step. You are preventing yourself from breaking free. You have placed yourself in a prison that you yourself have created. Now, you are demotivated, afraid, and you hate yourself more than ever. You want to change. You can do better. You know that you're so much more than this, and yet, here you are. You are struggling with yourself. You hate this part of you. You hate that you let it take over yourself. You hate that you let your envy and insecurities consume you so much and burn you to smithereens. Stop. Please stop comparing yourself to other people. Stop keeping in check with your achievements and comparing it with yours. You are different. You have your own pace. You don't have to be like them. I wish you could focus more on yourself and love yourself more. I know that it's difficult but I also know that you can do it. You want to fight back. You want to pick yourself up. You want to be better. You want to realize your true potential. That's the first step. Acting on that desire is next. Never let them bring you down. You have to be strong on your own. You need to be able to conquer the feelings of not being good enough. You need to stop pressuring yourself so much. Everything will work out in the end. Stop hating yourself. You're better than this. You've made me proud again and again, and this time, you will too. You will get through this. You will be strong. Everything that has ever happened to you, you will overcome it. It will make you stronger and braver. It will make you wiser. Don't simply trust anybody. You'll never know who the enemies are. Learn how to be strong, independent and alone, so that when everything's gone, you can still manage to survive. You need to walk on your own, deal with life on your own. I've always envisioned you as someone that can manage yourself without much help from other people. I know that you can do it. I've already pictured it. All we need to do is act on it. You can do it, love. I believe in you, and I always will. Don't mind them. They aren't significant. Work hard. Work smart. Pursue your dreams. Build your career. Focus on your studies. One day, you will be able to stand above them all and they wouldn't matter. No, don't be too dependent on them. Don't beg them to love you. Don't beg them for attention or companionship. You're better than that. You can do this. I just know that you can do this. Please don't give up just because there's an obstacle in front of you. Deal with it. Learn how to deal with it. Own it. Own your life and shape it the way how you want it to be. You only have a number of years on Earth so make most of it. Stop spending and wasting time on things that will bring you away from what you've initially planned for yourself. I love you, self. You can do this. Just fight. Fight your battles alone. You can do this. Thank you so much for holding on and not giving up. Just know that even when everyone turns their backs on you, you will always have me. We will always be together and we can make it through. I'm sorry for being an asshole for the past few days, but I promise to do better. For us. For me.