Dear... Mark
I don't know why I want to write this down, I just feel like I need to. This isn't a declaration of love, it's just that I miss you sometimes and wish I still knew you.
You're married now, I know that, and it seems you're very happy and I truly hope you are. I'm finally happy now too. Maybe at times a little unfulfilled and I know I could do more but bumps along the way have knocked me off path and I'll probably never be the person I thought I would be. I'm ok with that, I'm a better person than I was, much kinder and softer and I wouldn't treat someone the way I treated you in the past.
I don't know if you ever felt the same way as I did, I'm not sure that I wasn't just being egotistical in thinking that you must love me because I was pretty. At times I felt like you were just indifferent to me but I'm not sure that's true because we had something, me and you.
That something was never anything much, until it was, and I wish sometimes that it had stayed as nothing because I made an almighty mess of things but at the time my life was an almighty mess too.
You reached out to me before my wedding and that was the last time I heard from you, that's 2 years ago now.
All I ever wanted was for you to say you felt the same, to give some sign that how I felt for years and years wasn't in my head. If I'd known that with certainty I think our history would be very different although I'm not sure that our future would be, I probably would have hurt you anyway.
I want to be friends, I want to hear from you and I want to see you. I'd give you the biggest hug and it would be like nothing had ever changed.
I feel lonely, I know you've felt that way too in all your travels and you could help me, give me a link to home, even though you're not even there yourself anymore. I think I might send you a message, see how you're getting on. I worry that the rejection when you don't respond will hurt for a long time and I'll probably be back here writing another letter to you that you'll never get to read, or if you do, you won't know that this is about us.
Everything has moved on, but I still want to be your friend.