Dear... James
I don't understand why I ever had to meet you. I don't know why I ever had to fall for you. You made me lose all my hope in ever loving another man, for now I feel they're all the same. You broke me into a thousand pieces and I constantly glued myself back together for you while you continued to shatter me. I allowed that to happen for too long. I lost my self worth. Now I fear I'll never love again. I can't trust men the way I used to. No one makes me smile.
It's been years since we've spoke and I can honestly say that I don't love you anymore, but you ripped apart my seams and they're not mended. I wonder some times if you think of me, just out of curiosity, how I'm doing and where I'm at in life. But, knowing you, I'm sure you don't care. I'm a thing of the past. And you're a person of my past. That I can't heal from. And I wish I could find the way to heal and move on. Not search for you in every idiot I meet. Start fresh and find someone new with their shit together. Does ANYONE actually have their shit together? Probably not. It's probably all make believe like princesses and knights and unicorns and castles. The things we believe when we're young and hope for when we get older. I'm not going to have that. Because of you. YOU ruined me. You stomped on my belief in love and finding that person to complete me. Thanks for that. I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy with the little f**king family you built while you were making me think I was the only one in your life.
Eventually, I'll be happy. Maybe not because of a man, but because I'm pursuing a dream or am successful and found my worth again. But, until then, I'm hating you from a distance. I hope you don't sleep tonight and can't figure out why. I hope you toss and turn. Guilt subconsciously is eating at you but you can't recognize that. I hope your heart strings get ripped just a little like you tore out mine.