Dear... Aquarius Ex Best Friend
I miss the shit out of you. I miss you so much I almost reach out every day. Almost. But then I remember all the stupid things we've done to each other, and how fucked up our relationship really was in the depths of our existences and how we REALLY felt about each other, and I put the phone down. It's like it was always a competition between us and I don't know why. Maybe because of our first breakup. You were hooking up with him, and I started dating him. You always wanted to prove you were better. You were more special, prettier, hotter, funnier. I'm here to say that I never actually cared. I know my own self worth, and I know yours and I thought we were both good people, just looking to be our best selves even if it meant hurting or resenting the other. I'll never know why we could never just be judge free, loyal friends to each other. I'm sorry for stealing your guys even when it wasn't my intention, and I'm sorry you always felt like you needed revenge, or to prove how much better you were than me.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about you, miss talking to you, and miss having someone to talk to.. But honestly not talking to you and learning to accept my actions and not feel like I'm being judged all the time is so much better. Not having someone who's always low key out to get you, looking to ruin your existence - feels so good. I need genuine people in my life, and you are NOT one of them. You're evil and manipulating and all you want is to one-up the person standing in you "way".
I mean, you are an Aquarius, what else am I supposed to expect? The most detached, uncaring, heartless human I've ever know and you do it ever so slyly, not one person would even suspect it unless you showed them your true colors.
You're unloyal, vindictive, arrogant, and immature. And you blame even your own wrongdoings on others.
But we're best friends, right?
You're too good at pretending you don't care, there's enough resentment in the air. You know what all my faces mean. And it's easy to smoke it up, forget everything that happened in between. I can't win. Though I don't wanna tell you anything. I can't even think about how you feel inside, but we are best friends right? I don't like the way you say my name. You're always looking for someone to blame. Now you want me to suffer just cause you know you're wrong and can't take it back.
So I had love for you when I was four, and there's no one I wanna smoke with more.... But you are just too much, I'm wasting my time. But we are best friends right?