Dear... Her
I never stopped loving you. Though I wish I could.
Living without you seems so empty, so monotone, so draining. You were my source of wonder, of wisdom. And you're not coming back to me.
You live just a few blocks from my house yet it takes me so much energy to even think about you; how you felt, smelled, sounded, tasted. I was your first kiss, you were my first glimpse of what could have been my life. You made me feel strong, capable and confident.
But after a while I lost sight of what mattered, stopped seeing you as a lover. Now, looking back, I see how many flaws I brought into our relationship, but I would freely go through it again if I could.
There are so many things I wish we could have done. So many nights we could have spent together. But I was selfish and afraid, of what, I'm still not sure. I still stay up at night, getting lost in our memories. Like that time in the nurse's office at school, or on the street corner, or in my room.
I wish I could just go back and tell myself what to do. But I can't. So instead of wasting time wishing on things that cannot be, I choose to let you go. To forgive myself, and to love again.