Dear... Young artists (self)
I've got my whole life within the palm of my hands. I still have more years to live and consider myself too fragile and innocent to go through the fucked up things the world will put me through.
I'm an aspiring / incompetent / artist who thought it would be a great idea to take up the path of the arts. I can sense some disappointment developed within my family since I'm the only one who took up an art course, in my Asian household. It's so scary to imagine myself fail and lose myself throughout the process. I don't see myself going into the college that my parents want me to study at, but the hard thing is that I don't have any choice since I didn't get into any other universities with unrelated courses within the art field. I just hate it because I tried so hard to pass myself in numerous STEM courses but I failed myself to do so and I don't know what to do anymore.
During the time of COVID-19, having so much time to reflect on me, my pathetic thoughts and depressive episodes are eating my mind alive and I don't even know what to expect anymore. It just seems that I want to give up. I just found out about this website and this is the only thing that could help me get away and express what I'm actually feeling. My friends and family, who are there for me, wouldn't understand. No one would even If I tried all things. "Stop Overthinking" and "Let the universe do its job for you". Blind assurance is what's keeping me here. I'm just really scared to be a starving artist and not knowing if I'm going through a suicide career path because of my situation. Maybe it's just my intrusive thoughts taking over my mind but it feels all too real and a huge slap to my face.
To all young artists out there, I hope you are all doing well and feeling stable in what you are doing. Please continue what you are doing. Don't let my words discourage you since we both have different stories and lives. Keep on doing what you love and don't ever forget how important your colors are in our society. Don't think that you aren't capable of being the best version of yourself. Art takes time but please prioritize your self and needs. Think through if you are actually mentally capable of going through the path of the arts and don't underestimate the lifestyle of an artist. Reality is a fucking bitch.
CQ 5/3/2020