Dear... Him. I’m sorry.
I’ve tried contacting you but no answer. Do you hate me? I wish I knew how you felt about me. We haven’t seen each other in years, or even know anything about one another, at least not anymore. You were always on my mind. You always are. Which is terrifying because I’m with her. A part of me feels guilty but I can’t stop thinking about you. You were the first boy I’ve had feelings for. The one who truly made my stomach tingle with butterflies.
I don’t think we will ever see that, or get to that. I dream of it.
Truth is, like I have said before, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for putting you in the middle... and not realizing the impact of my decision making. If our feelings were ever mutual, or if I’m just making this all up in my head… I wish I could see you. Stare into those blue eyes. I still remember when you were working at Sobeys. I ran into you and give you a hug. I wish I could give you a hug again.